how's the weather? (another quickie stream of consciousness thing)

if my past three days would have a weather forecast, it would be something like:

the day will start with bright sunshine but there will be overcast skies sometime during the day. when night approaches, there will be a threat of rain.

okay... so i can't write the weather. but that's basically it.

the kaamulan was fantastic. my dates went missing, but i didn't mind. jomar and trusty old tasha (my digicam) were with me and nila, our project partner. and for a bonus, i bumped into my co-teachers in pangantucan. AND a former student, who is a now a teacher as well (which at one point, she credited to me. heheh!). whenever there are festivals like that, i'm always upbeat. friends are always fun to have, but i can survive on my own. and bukidnon always refreshes my spirit. so everything was fine.

yet, all througout the trip home, i couldn't sleep. which is a surprise, as i am a sleeper whenever i take long trips. so many thoughts running around my mind. some tiresome, some dark, none of which were optimistic. brooding is always difficult for me. it tires me out. and thinking of work, as well as other personal concerns, without having the opportunity to do it is more tiresome than doing it.

oh where oh where is that slacker that i used to be? di ako masipag no! and yet, here i am in the office on a sunday worrying about the work i will be leaving behind because i will be gone for another week... listing down all the things jomar has to do while i'm away. yet wanting to do them myself. blech. i do not like being responsible. blech.

still there were some other rays of sunshine. good news from dear old tris. a great bag for mother. a shirt for jan.

and more clouds on the already darkening sky. the trip i've been planning... won't push through. because of that stupid bias against davao. blech. whatever. change venue. at least more people can come. and things snowball... wanting to rebel yet not having the courage to, because there are more than enough headaches for my mother already. i'm too good a child. and i have a feeling my reward will only be in heaven for this good turn. and yet, being who i am... i do good not to be rewarded but because it is right. and that's what makes me boring. jeesh. i used to be so fun. blech.