lose some, win some

This morning, for some reason I started wondering if it is possible for a human being to be bottomless. These thoughts slyly crept into me while I was fixing my closet and listening to Studio 23’s Breakfast wherein Ria Tanjuatco and a guest were discussing baby sign language. The connection was clear then but it eludes me now.

Anyway, back to bottomless humans.

Having been stuck with this life for 27 years, I can’t help but have some so-called wisdom and experience. And this morning, I have discovered how true the cliché “you win some, you lose some” is.

Lunch time, the Assisi bunch went to mass to celebrate St. Francis’s feast day. Then, we proceeded to Shakey’s and each ordered bottomless iced teas to go with our hi-protein and bellybuster pizzas.

While waiting for our pizza, I downed half a mug of iced tea to which the very efficient waitress refilled without having been told. Was the iced tea really bottomless? Yes. Was the glass? No. (thus it is bottomless iced tea and not bottomless glass. D-uh, anj!) It can only hold so much liquid. Forcing the drink into the glass beyond its capacity would just waste it and would even make a mess on the table. And piss me off.

So to make the most out of the absurdly expensive iced tea, I take in sips and gulps to make sure what I pay for is worth it. Still over drinking wouldn’t be a good idea either since there is only a limited capacity of my stomach to take in fluids and food in a given span of time. Drinking more than what I can would just make what I paid for a waste as I would just end up with a stomach ache instead of a contented busog feeling. Therefore, despite a bottomless source, there is only a limited vessel.

Which goes the same for a human being. The world is full of infinite possibilities which one can convert into experience. But a human being is only a limited vessel. It can only take things in bit by bit. A sudden outpour of experience or learning would overwhelm a person, thus wasting the potential nourishment and wisdom one can gain. And when things are being taken in by the human, there are things that have to be let go. You gain some, you lose some.

You gain wisdom, you lose innocence. You gain humility, you let go of pride. You let in anger, you let go of peace. You embrace love, you liberate from apathy and indifference.

Because of human limitations, something always has give way to make room something else. It would just depend on what one decides to free and what to embrace. One must also be discerning on what particular choices to make and how much of it. So as not to distress the senses. So as not to overwhelm the spirit. So as to ensure each choice is savored fully. So as not to let it go to waste by spilling.

But then being overwhelmed can still be good. If there is another vessel to catch what is spilt. Just like those champagne fountains where the waiter pours the wine onto the topmost vessel which sends the precious liquid cascading down the rest of the glasses for more people to enjoy.

When there is an tremendous feeling or grace (which we occasionally get), there is that deep desire to share it with others. For them to sip or gulp from, filling up their own crevices and fissures.

For negative feelings like anger, sadness or depression, there is often the longing to unburden, to spill it out. But to intentionally spread negative feelings is not something we would want to do. Still there are people willing to share that burden, limited as they are. The more to take your burden in, the less potent it becomes.

Humans, though limited… experiences, though infinite… with the cosmic order we live in… there is always a way to make things work. You lose some, you win some. Life’s ironies which makes everything go perfectly anyway.

(note to self: it sometimes pays to listen to yourself)