dancing an almost-obsession away

i have always loved dancing. especially back in the days working with jvp (as volunteer and as staff). during seminars, i'd be the first and the last in the dance floor, moving like someone possessed. and maybe i was... for during those times in dim-lit rooms, as the throbbing of the bass travels from the player to the ground to my feet to my spirit, i feel so free. all i have is myself and the music.

ever since i changed jobs and move cities, i have not danced much. maybe because i have trouble moving to trance and rave and whatever music is being played in clubs these days. the few times i have been in one, i feel lost and trapped, while the younger people move to the beat.

until today.

because of my silly obsession with the paunch in my tummy caused by the december food deluge.

it used to be that i can stay small by sheer will power. it used to be that i need not worry about my food intake, nor bother myself with exercise. my weight and size would only pendulum minus/plus three pounds.

this is not the case anymore. with the latest december festivities, i felt heavy. evidence is my jeans which has been with me for the last five years that now just barely fit. I DO NOT WANT TO BUY NEW JEANS! not for the reason of weight gain anyway.

i do not believe i'm fat, just to be clear. but my self-image has been built upon being average-sized for my entire life. i come from a family of big people, so it is a bit of a miracle that i have survived 28 years without hitting beyond the 120lb mark. and being a plain jane with rebellious hair, it is only my weight/size that i have control over.

thus, it has become an almost-obsession for me to work on getting rid of the paunch i have.

despite my lustful desire for coke (which is largely to blame for the tummy), i've cut down my intake. part of the reason why jan and i got the yellow cleats was to make sure i go to frisbee games whenever i can, because i already made an investment in it. plus during mornings, whenever possible, i do 10 to 20 crunches, plus lifting weights to firm up my arms (palikpik).

with 20 days into it, i woke up this morning feeling it was not enough. i even thought i should go back to eating cereals for breakfast, but that costs almost 800/month (because i only care for banana nut crunch or almond crunch).

then i realized, why don't i just dance! i loved doing it back then, i should still enjoy it now.

so today, i danced.

i stuck my pirated santana and referendum CDs, chose the tracks which would get me bopping, and danced. while facing the mirror, smiling at my reflection, i danced.

30 minutes and i was sweating as if i have been tossing discs for 15 minutes. and the best thing about it was, i felt the endorphin rush through my veins. like i had the energy to face the day.

hopefully, i get to do this on a regular basis. even if i don't get to lose my layers, at least i start the day with a dose of joy. ;p

* photos stolen from the internet, forgot the links though. sorry. hehe!