thursday the tweltfth was a terrible day. morning spent at the office but the rest of the day was spent at home surrounded by pillows and covered with a blanket.
the only welcome thing yesterday was watching the UAAP Battle of Katipunan as Ateneo battled UP in the courts. my two alma matters (i have the UP ID to prove it!), but there was no contest where my loyalty lies. it was both fascinating and eerie having Claifford Arao's face paraded on the screen for having the best game the last fight. there are miracles.
and lo... are those eyes finally looking sharp instead of the usual open-mouthed, "huh, what i am doing in this world?" expression that he has worn for the past few years. a welcome, welcome change in mr. arao... even if he did don a fuschia pain reliever the duration of the game.
the rest of the day was dull, lonely and tense. going through references back and forth for my paper did not help my migraine. and not knowing what to write two days before the deadline made everything feel worse. so much for the sudden calm. i was definitely not calm as jan can attest.
i did what jan adviced. step back and get away from my paper. i still have today. so i watched top model and went to sleep and woke up to friday the 13th. a day nearer saturday the fourteenth.
and though i enjoy friday the thirteenth, after college, my history of celebrating the day has always been boring. nothing exciting. nothing much.
today, i do not enjoy the day. i am merely an eight of my paper and still mostly clueless about what to put for the rest of it. but i will finish it as to how i understand it. i will not think of the grade or what the teacher wants me to write. i will write what i know, and i think it's enough. i may not get the high grade i am aiming for (it's for the office because they are paying for my tuition), but i am definite i am doing my best.
the last time i stood up for how i understood a lesson and knowing it wasn't what the teacher taught us was my philo orals with jo (jvp13). i believed what i said, and probably sounded that way. the week after i checked my oral grades, what i thought was a D turned out to be a B. not bad for answering a thesis statement i didn't study.
so maybe i'll have that kind of luck this time.
and back to my paper. ciao.
8 comments:
good luck! i know you have been working on this for so long and will turn up an awesome paper! =)
thanks! it's a load of crap actually. haha! but i just wanted to be done with it and submitted it anyway.
hugs! sigh, can relate ako.
thanks, row.
hirap talaga maghanap ng balanse. hahay.
nung binasa ko ang post mo, naalala ko ang orals ko kay padre ferriols. naghanda naman ako, pero kinalimutan ko lahat nung "nag-usap" na kami. hindi na oral exam, pag-uusap na ng tao sa tao (naks!).
ang ganda.
baka ganun na nga. hindi na siguro kailangan ma-pressure sa grado, o kung ano ang sasabihin ng professor, o kung magiging makabuluhan ba ang sasabihin sa papel. magiging makabuluhan dahil IKAW ang nagbigay ng kabuluhan nito.
gawd luck! babasahin ko ang susunod na kabanata nito.
(hi rowie!)
tama ka, eric.
kung di lang talaga nakaka-pressure na may magandang record para sa opisina, relax lang sana ako. haha!
but at the same time, i know that i have learned much. a part of me doesn't really care if the teacher agrees with me or not.
pilosopo ka talaga. kaya ka kalbo e. hehe!
actually alam ko ang ibig sabihin ng "pressure". kung ikaw ba naman ay may "sj" pagkatapos ng pangalan mo, eh pressure talaga yun. :-)
pero yun nga, nakakapagtaka (nakakapagtaka nga ba?) kse i work/perform best when i don't feel that i have to prove anything to anybody.
but anyway, meron naman mga tao na mas magaling pag nape-pressure. (ang dugyot ng Filipino ko! hehehe)
sabi nga ng mga kabataan ngayon, kanya-kanyang trip lang yan, at walang basagan ng trip. :-)
(nasaan na ankh mo?)
ano nga ba ang Tagalog ng pressure, bai? hehe!
sa kasawiang palad nawawala ang pinakamamahal kong ankh. sigh.
dumadagdag talaga ang pressure habang tumatanda. hahay. sa trabaho, sa muling pag-aaral, sa pakikisalamuha. siguro dahil laging may iba na may inaasahang makamit mo. dapat pag 20s ka ganito, pag 30s ka ganyan. at kung wala ka pa sa batayan ng sangkatauhan, kulang ka.
pero kung tanggalin mo ang ibang mga bagay na yun at haharap sa salamin... alam mong walang dapat ikahiya kung ibinigay mo ang lahat.
;p
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