memory in a slab of stone

while we were on our way home from tagaytay, i asked jan if we can pass by manila memorial to visit my dad. it's been a while since i have gone there to visit. mainly because sucat is just so far away from sta. ana. at the same time, my schedule with living people is already squeezing half of my own life. and there are still some people i am unable to meet.

so anyhoo... jan was more than willing to take me there.

when we finally got to his nook in the wide expanse of green and i saw his name in a marble slab, i never realized how much i missed that actual space where he is. i felt anchored to my spot, hypnotized by his name, while holding and being held by jan. somehow, i felt he was there... excited to see me since i haven't been there for a while.

it's strange. i usually don't give the cemetery much thought since i still talk to my father once in a while. but it was strange missing him right then and there. complete with runny nose and a wonderful man with me. i felt my dad there, where his name was. and it felt difficult leaving since i know it will be a long time since i can come back and see him.

but it felt good. knowing that after all these years, the love of and for that pogi old man is still alive.