my sweet, sweet mom

dixie and i had our first foray last night during ate maco's belated birthday bash. afterwards, i went home and played around with my mom's figurines. during the trip home, i messaged my tita in the states about dixie. she was the one who helped my mom look for a nikon D40X there, but it turned out to be more expensive that here in the Philippines.

i didn't really expect a reply, but her answer made me all the more grateful for my mom buying the cam for me.

mommy mo talaga gusto maghanap ng camera dito. she was worried na wala siya madala for you. sabi nga niya seldom ka lang daw mag-ask so talaga she wanted to get you one. syempre i also tried to help her and push for the best... (etc. etc)

i was glad my tita told me that. my mom would never tell me that side of her story of my pasalubong. i never thought that she realized that. and not that i want her to, but i appreciate that she does.

truth is... i have been eternally grateful for the many things she has sacrificed for me. sending me to ateneo was enough to have me indebted to my parents for the rest of my life. i mean... she and my dad kindly asked me if i wanted to go to UP instead, that they'd give me a bigger allowance. but i insisted on going to ateneo. they never even mentioned that it would be really difficult for them. because if they said we couldn't afford it, i wouldn't have pushed the issue and gone to UP. no questions asked.

i knew there were shoes and clothes and trips that had to be sacrificed for my sibs and i to go to a good school. so i never asked for new clothes or a birthday party or a nice gift or a graduation gift. really, they deserved the graduation gift, not i. but yeah... i was aware of the sacrifice they made to give me things that can't be taken away.

and then my tita's text... i'm just glad to know that we have a mutual appreciation of what each has extended for the other. and dixie is the symbol for that. even if i can afford more expensive cameras in the future... dixie will most likely be my favorite because of what it means to me and to my mom.