to be or not to be... a woman. that is the question.

This entry has long been brewing in my mind. With the latest frenzy in my Davao clan of cousins getting pregnant, engaged and married, it seemed like a most opportune time.

Boys have to go through a single rite of passage, that’s it. A snip of skin, a short time in a skirt and that’s it. They would be left alone most of the time. Girls on the other hand have to go through a different kind of ordeal, one that is constantly over their shoulders their entire life. Women are expected to be certain things at a certain age. Boys, on the other hand, can be boys forever and the alarm bells wouldn't be as loud. Blame society, blame culture. But we are a nosy nation, enjoying our afternoons on showbiz gossip, and moreso the lives of the people of those around us.

Girls have to deal with questions at different stages of their life. And it is one thing most of us have learned to face with amusement, albeit with a hint (hint lang?!) of sarcasm.

What are these questions? Read on.

For the 7-18 year old.

Sinong crush mo? (Who is your crush?)

Follw-up advice/reply:
Between nine to twelve – Huwag ka munang magkaka-crush, bata ka pa. (Don’t have a crush yet, you’re still young!)
Hirit ko: Hep! bakit ka pa nagtanong?! (Why did you even ask?!)

Between twelve to eighteen - Crush lang ha. (Just a crush, okay?)
Hirit ko: Palalampasin kita. (I’ll let you be.)

For the 12-25 year old:

May boyfriend ka na? (Do you have a boyfriend already?)
Corollary question: In-love ka na? (Are you in love already?)
Follw-up Advice(s)/reply:

Between 12-17 – Bata ka pa! Huwag muna. (You’re still young. Not yet.)
Hirit ko: Again… Bakit ka pa nagtanong! (and my theory is, so they can actually lecture you that you are still young and that your priorities should be your studies… yadda-yadda).

Between 18-20 – Ah. Okay lang yan. Pero huwag muna masyadong serious. Bata ka pa. (Oh. That’s okay. But don’t be too serious yet. You’re still young.)
Hirit ko: May punto ka. (You have a point ). But there is a way to say this without sounding that you are interefering.

Between 20-25: Enjoy lang kayo. (Just enjoy.)
Hirit ko: Alangan namang hindi? (Of course!)

If you answer yes to stage 2 question, be also prepared to be grilled. It does not matter what age you are! Prepare for questions such as:

Who is he?
How old is he? An age gap of five years or more may possible undergo further scrutiny.
What school did he go to/is he studying in? A not very good sounding school will potentially raise eyebrows. A name of a good school will most likely merit pogi points. Except if you come from a clan of Ateneans/La Sallites and end up with a La Sallite/Atenean boyfriend. UAAP basketball games can get bloody.
What’s his family name? What’s his father’s/mother’s business/work?
Etc etc etc.

For those 25 - onwards:

Scenario 1: You have no boyfriend.
Question: Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend? (Why do you not have a boyfriend yet?)

If you answer: Wala pa akong nagugustuhan. (I don’t like anyone just yet.)
Follw-up advice/reply: Masyado yatang mataas standards mo. Masyado kang pihikan. (You might be too choosy.)
Hirit ko: Dapat lang no? Special kaya ako! (Of course. I’m special!)

If you answer: Wala namang nanliligaw. (Nobody is courting me.)
Follw-up advice/reply 1: Ayusin mo kasi sarili mo. (Fix yourself.)
Hirit ko: Hello. Kung ayaw niya ako na ganito, magdusa siya. (If he doesn’t like me this way, let him suffer.)

Follw-up advice/reply 2: Darating din yan. (It’ll come)
Hirit ko: Kung nakaharang ka sa daan ko, baka lalong di dumating. (If you stay in my way, it might really not just come.)

If you answer: Enjoy ako sa pagkadalaga/sa trabaho/sa aking ginagawa. (I’m having fun with my life right now.)
Follow-up advice/reply: Naku, baka masyado kang mag-enjoy, mapag-iwanan ka ng biyahe. (You might be enjoying too much you might just get left behind.)
Hirit ko: Ano to, karera? (What’s this, a race?)

Scenario 2: You have a boyfriend.

Question 1: Kelan kayo magpapakasal? When are you getting married?

If you answer: Wala pa sa plano namin. (It’s not yet in our plans.)
Follw-up advice/reply:
If you are still a young couple: Tama yan, enjoy lang kayo. (That’s right. Just enjoy)
Hirit ko: Again… alangan! (Of course!)
If you have been going out for some time: Tagal niyo na ah. Sigurado ka ba diyan? (You’ve been together for so long, are you sure with him?)
Hirit ko: Di nakipag-break na ako kung hindi. (I should’ve broken up with him if not!)

If you answer: Malapit na. (soon)
Follw-up advice/reply:
Kelan? Saan? Sinong entourage? Yada-yada. (When, where, what, how)

I often answer by snickering/smiling and then getting back to what I am doing.
Or kid, “magpayaman muna siya!” (Let him get rich first!)
Which would have the follw-up advice/reply:
Di naman kailangan talaga ng pera. Kakayanin naman yan once magsama kayo. (You really don’t need money. You’ll get through once you’re together)
Hirit ko: (sa isip lang of course) Di ako naniniwala sa love will keep us alive.
Pero joke lang din na kailangan niyang magpayaman no. I just say that to turn people off. Hehe!

Now Married stage: (wala pa ako dito sa rundown lang)

Kelan kayo magkakababy? When will you have a baby? Toni writes a good entry about this.

Once may baby na:

Kelan niyo susundan? When will the next be?
Hirit ko: Ano ako, baby machine? (What am I, a baby machine?)

Pag masyado nang maraming baby:
Di pa ba kayo titigil? Mahal na magpaaral ngayon. (Aren’t you going to stop? It’s too expensive to send them to school.)

Hirit ko: As if di ko alam yan no! (D-uh. I know.)

Such is a life of a woman, bombarded with questions at any given point of her life. Sometimes it can be amusing how people can be concerned about your life. And sometimes it can be downright irritating when you feel your privacy is being invaded. But you have to admit, it does make life a little more interesting. ;p

How about you? What questions have you been asked? And boys, is there any growing up rituals you face to? I can think of a few. Hehe!