celebrating singlehood

it might seem that i am not the most appropriate person to write this. but this entry has been brewing in my mind for months and months and months now. but never really had the full inspiration to write about it.

but being single, i think, should be celebrated. the joy of singlehood was something i strove for ever since my heart healed from an intensive breaking that i caused upon myself years and years ago. four years of healing and introspection on the matters of the heart kinda gives you that positive attitude about being unhitched.

it could have been taking theology 131 under the dreaded but much loved fr. dacanay. or it could have been watching all those sappy love stories on film and on tv and seeing the effect on people who merely think with their hearts. or it could have been because i have witnessed true love between my father and mother, that i would take nothing less for myself.

i believe that to sincerely enjoy being on your own, of believing that loving yourself is prequisite to loving others or being loved by others. because only then will you know what you truly deserve and will not have anything but the best. only then you will be open to love that is grounded and not blinded.

of course, most people will want someone. God knows how many nights i'd lay awake thinking, "is there something wrong with me?" because there is no one who holds my hand or gives me flowers or takes me to dinner or sends me mushy messages on my phone. it took a lot more pain and much faith and prayer to finally allow myself to accept my loneliness. i kept praying that i be granted the grace to take pleasure in my job, embrace the love of my friends, and to be who God wants me to be.

with patience and trust, i got there.

kang wrote about natasha bedingfield's "unwritten." like her, i quite enjoy that song. but it was "single" that actually made a deeper impression on me. and i heard this at a time when i already had a relationship. "single" reminded me a lot of helen fielding's second installement of bridget jones, "the edge of reason." while dear bridget bemoans her relationship with d'arcy, in the end, her realizations celebrate the beauty of a woman, with or without a man.

*****

single
natasha bedingfield

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

[Chorus]

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

*****
Jude, one of Bridget's friends, gets married at the end of the book. Together with Bridget and Shaz, they came up with her speech.

Today I bade farewell to being a Singleton... I promise never to suggest that Singletondom is a mistake, or that because someone is a Singleton there is anything wrong with them. For as we all know, Singletondom is a normal state in the modern world, all of us are single at different times in our lives and the state is as every bit as worth of respect as Holy Wedlock...