zsa-zsa zaturnnah

DIDN'T KNOW I WAS LOOKING FOR LAUGHS
That October, it was one of those usual days in Cagayan de Oro when I just came straight from the area. After dropping my stuff off at Xavier, I had an "I deserve to pig out lunches" in one of my favorite restaurants, Viennahaus Kaffe. While waiting, I'd pore over old magazines. That time, it was Preview. After shaking my head in disbelief at how high clothes can cost and think how many lumad children that could send to school, I skipped to the section that recommends movies and books.

That was when I came across a review of Zsa-Zsa Zaturnnah. By a college friend, nonetheless, whose taste I've always trusted. Having enjoyed comics most of my life, I decided to get a copy. The synopsis hardly gave me an idea what it was about, but I was interested at the idea of how that woman in the picture could be gay.


So I trudged to National Bookstore and looked for a copy. Luck of all lucks, National was having a sale. So I ended up buying the comic, and another book I've been looking for in Davao, "The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish" by Neil Gaiman. Being only sixty pesos short of a thousand bucks and a free tote bag, I bought Adarna book for my niece. When I went back to the Xavier I was poor but happy.

SPREADING THE WORD
While on the bus, my stomach was near-colic (kabag) from trying hard not to laugh out loud. It was funny, it was modern, it was my cup of tea. So I spread the book around by lending it to my Davao gang, needing to twist some of my friends hands just to read it. That included Jan, who was a little iffy at the idea of reading a book in 'kabaklaan.' Well, all the people I asked to read enjoyed it. And it always felt great to share good literature. Even Jan enjoyed it, giving good reviews on the pencilling and how it was able to capture pop culture sensitivites. Afterwhich, he lent me Anne Proux's 'Brokeback' Mountain (even before we had news of the movie).

ZE MUZIKAL
Tatit texted me one late December morning excited about the news of the musical coming up. Of course, we were excited and looked forward to belly-aching laughter, conjuring images of how the scenes would look like.

When the run finally began in February, I was nowhere in Manila. Though I would have loved to watch the show badly, it was still not bad enough for me to purchase a 5,000-peso round trip ticket. So I just had to content myself listening to the stories of friends who saw it.

But the gods were good. Last weekend, I was finally able to watch the show. More expensive than the usual price because it was a special run and it already has gained a following. At least it's still better than having to buy a plane ticket to go with it.

ZE MOVIE IN MY MIND
Now, as you already know, there is much hullaballoo as to who will be playing it in the movie version. With Mother Lily taking care of the project, it's a hit or miss. And Joel Lamangan as director at that. Though he has won many awards, he fails to amaze me. The original intended director, Mark Meilly, would have done a better job. But I'm not the producer so I can't do anything about that.

Anyways, when I heard the news of the movie, I've been doing my own casting already especially after finding out that Zsa-Zsa Padilla is Zsa-Zsa Zaturnnah. Disappointing really. But with her giant mouth, I'm sure she wouldn't have trouble swallowing that rock.

Thus, I shall play casting director and here are my picks:

Zsa-Zsa Zaturnnah - Keanna Reeves. Boobies pa lang kuha na! And she's as gay as a woman can get. She'd rake in money already, with all her PBB followers.

Ada - I find Rustom Padilla a good choice. Especially since Ada is your stuck-up, pasan ko ang daigdig gay parlorista. Wasn't he like that before his PBB revelation? Plus he does have that skin line product. Swak! But Ogie Alcasid would be okay too. Except why deprive a gay man a gay role?

Didi - Can I cast Jack MacFarland here? Hehehe. Kidding, of course. John Lapus. Though according to his praise for the book, he wants to play Ada. But his personality is very much Didi. Masayang bakla, the gay friend you want at your side to make you smile when you are feeling so down. (Honestly, Didi steals the show from the lead Ada and Zsa-Zsa.)

Dodong - Wendell Ramos. Wala lang. I like seeing him shirtless. Wehehehe! And his Bubble Gang experience can probably help put some life into Dodong. Because in truth, pang-display lang siya! And a display I'd like seeing.

Aling Britney - Puwede ako? But since Mother Lily does not know me yet, Elizabeth Ramsey. Kelangan pa ba tanong kung bakit? Fine. Matandang malanding kulot.

Queen Femina Suarestellar Baroux - Nakakainis. Pero sa hitsura, bagay nga si Pops Fernandez. But just because I don't like her... hmm... Jean Garcia! Mare, sexy. Ayusin lang ang accent. Tutal marunong na siya mag-English ngayon.

Amazonistas - Wilma Doesnt. Tuesday Vargas (she is part of the movie) , Gladys Reyes (just make her wear super high heels), and Desiree del Valle (ala lang. I crush her)

So yun. Pagtitiyagaan ko na lang panuorin ang pelikula ko sa aking utak dahil di kailangan ng budget para mag-day dream. (Gusto ko talaga maging Aling Britney! Or Didi kung papayagan ako ni Lord.)